Goodbye Toxic Friends

February 3, 2020

Dear Diary,


Are there people around you who have grown resentful of your success or of the fact that you have new friends in your life? Are they always angry, unhappy or negative? Do you leave them feeling somewhat drained? If so, you probably feel like they're sucking the life out of you by imposing their negativity on to you. Being around people like that is not only sad, it could be dangerous for you. If you hang around them too often, you are likely to develop negative thinking or even a bit of depression.


Trust me, I have a bit of experience with this and I've noticed that with practice I've learned to pinpoint the negative from the normal. Don't get me wrong, to be a friend means that you have to be there for those that you love when they are at their lowest and it may take a little bit of time and you can get through it but just know that if they're your real friends you will feel the love even when they're at their lowest. If something doesn't feel right… It's not.


If you are a girl boss, you will learn really quickly that if you have toxic people in your life you will feel it and it will hold your productivity. It's really important to be around a solid group of positive people that lift you up. Again, it's extremely normal to have bad days and to feel negative... but just remember that true friends don't want to pull you down with them.




Here are 3 tips to determine if new people who are coming in your life are entering for the right reasons or if your current friends are actually proud of you or resentful.


1. If you hang out with somebody who continuously criticizes you, open your eyes. It can start with little things like pointing out that your clothes aren't in style, or that your hair looks silly but soon they could be taking the thing you're most passionate about and making you feel terrible about it. Any people in your life that I can tell you the truth and warn you if you're doing something wrong but you don't need to feel judged about it. If you never feel free and comfortable to act like the real you around these people, why would you want to be around them at all?


2. If you hang out with people who seem to continuously be jealous of your success, they will never be happy for you. Success is something we wish upon family and friends. If people in your life are constantly jealous, they will never be happy with what they have and they will never be happy when good things happen to you. If someone is feeling a negative emotion like jealousy, they can't fill a positive one at the same time… Just remember that.


3. Finally, try not to surround yourself with people who continuously play the victim. Those who always find someone to blame for their setbacks or their mistakes may never want to take responsibility and sooner or later they'll end up blaming you too. These people are sometimes hard to identify as you may feel empathy at first but their time of need I will never pass. Surround yourself by people who take accountability for their actions, learn from their mistakes and are open to change.


Getting rid of negativity is the first step but what's even more important is that you need to stay happy and positive yourself. Make sure to check in with yourself, and make sure you love those that surround you. Again, remember, if something doesn't feel right… It's not and a friend shouldn't pull you down.

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